Dreams, jealousy, and wishful thinking

My girly-girl leaves for France in three days. This year has flown by, and I can't believe the trip is here already...or that my baby is old enough for international travel without me. She has an independent family-stay for 5 days in Aix-en-Provence then reconvenes with her class and goes to Paris for 7 days. I am jealous. Really jealous.

An odd thing happened last night. The OM was fitfully sleeping and started singing in his sleep. The odd part is that his ramblings fit into my dream. So, either we were on some weird plane, or his singing was picked up by my subconscious. I mean, just about anything could have fit in with my dream about doing laudanum with John Malcovich right?? My subconscious is a scary place...really scary.

I guess I will keep the wishful thinking bit to myself, but I'll just say that I've recently found my smile.

...so? new?

Thought I'd actually check in for real, in case anyone was just dying to know what is going on in the Life of Reggie.

When last we left off, I was trudging around in the Pit of Despair, woefully lamenting over my marriage. We've been to counseling. Ultimately, I was told to just make up my mind for ME and live with the circumstances. Uh, forgive my stupidity, but aren't counselors supposed to, um, counsel? (have I mentioned that I hate counselors?). So, alas, I am still trudging...

On a lighter note, I am enjoying this semester. I don't have a copy of my Gluttony animation, but will post it when I do. Now, I am working on Lust...I think I have already successfully pissed off the Christians in my class.

I am officially psyched about the prospect of Jane's Addiction and NIN touring in Denver. If you go, you'll recognize me as the huge puddle on the floor because I'll just lose it when I see Dave Navarro in person.


Yummy.

Ahem...anneehoo, I'm off to powernap before the Denver Irish Pub Crawl. Nothing like a good mucking up of your liver every now and again.

Back at it

Albeit overdone, my theme for this semester shall be Cardinal Sin. Superbia, avaritia, luxuria, invidia, gula, ira, and acedia...or pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth for those of us not fluent in Latin. I won't be hitting them all since I only have 5 drawings to do, so I'll work on my favorites: lust, gluttony, pride, greed, and envy.

My first assignment, which is due 2/10, is to create 25 drawings to run as an animation and also as a hard-copy flipbook. I'll be sure to post it here after the animation is complete.

I'll have to see if I am creative enough to fill the whole semester with figure drawings. I'm excited now, we'll see on 2/10...

Happy New Year!

Another year has passed. I’m older, but likely not wiser.

This blog has been a catharsis of sorts. I’ve used it as a means to speak my mind with some sense of anonymousness. But, I’ve decided that introspection sucks. From here on out, no more tales of promiscuity, infidelity, and other drama in my life. We’ll just have to see if there is anything else for me to talk about.

Here’s hoping that this year brings us all what we need the most. My resolution is to let go of all expectations and just let things unfold without me trying to force it.

Hugs and kisses.

As the name of the blog implies...

This is the suckiest of seasons for me. I find myself navigating the streets, sidewalks, malls, groceries stores, and restaurants muttering "people...damned people...I effin' HATE people." It is really good for appearing as a loon, so if it distances people from me then I am all for it.

I mean, really, I KNOW these people have to function the other 11 months of the year. So, why do they all become complete idiots from Thanksgiving to New Year's?

In order to keep some semblance of yuletide spirit, I've done most of my shopping online, and waited until the coldest night of the season to drive around to look at lights.

Only 3 working days until my holiday begins...not that I am counting or anything. Hope you are keeping it together better than I. If I don't rant again until next year, Merry Whatsits and the like.

Stress Diet

I think I have figured out a way to tap into the billion-dollar diet market. I've been able to eat what I want, when I want, and have still lost weight. The problem is that I don't want to eat anything. Cigarettes and coffee make up the bulk.

6 pounds lost this week

I know I should eat, but I feel like I need to punish myself or something as equally retarded. I feel like this whole divorce thing is all my fault. Logically I know it isn't, but it doesn't make the feeling go away.

How is it that guys can be so blissfully unaware that things are bad? He honestly thought things were the greatest. He had this feeling even with me telling him how I was feeling. I've already had two other failed relationships so I made a real effort not to bottle things up. He always knew how I was feeling when I was feeling it. Yet, he still thought this was the best relationship ever.

I read a few of my old blogs when I was trying to convince myself that things had gotten better. I could see that I was really trying to put one over on myself. I thought that if I said positive things that I'd begin believing them.

I really need to stop lying to myself. He asked if he should move out, or if I should move out. I told him that I didn't know the answers to anything. He said he isn't going to give me a timeline or an ultimatum, but that it is unfair to leave him twisting in the wind.

I just don't know how to deal with this.